I’m trying to be more of a positive person, a different person. Some days I wish I was an extrovert but I’m not. Inside my head I am and extrovert but for some reason my thoughts stop there they never hit my mouth I just think and never say. When will I become this person that is strong and independent and not caring what I say. Why can’t I just be someone everyone likes? I want to be that person who takes risks but it’s just not me even though I want it to be me!
You’ve arrived at the 21st floor, as the doors open my head goes down so no one sees my puffy eyes and the tears that flood my life. Each tear having something to say as they exit the body I wish I didn’t have. A Midwest body living in the east coast where vegans rule the world. Eating Daiya cheese, and sharing cauliflower recipes but I look at the cupcake and say fuck it they all know I’m going to have it, they can tell from size of my luv handles and the presence of my double chin.
Tomorrow everything changes I will do everything perfectly brush my teeth, do my hair, eat right, exercise, and keep tidy.
Reality hits I slam down the over creamed coffee, pop a mint, throw unwashed hair in the overstretched ponytail, finishing the day fishing through Netflix, hulu, and hbo saying tomorrow everything changes.